When a chapter closes in life, when a relationship ends, sometimes the hope lingers. You check your e-mail and hope to see something, or when your phone buzzes you secretly hope that it’s him. Every morning you wake up in the darkness of morning and wonder if he reached out. Then, all at once, that morning comes where it doesn’t even occur to you to look. You lose hope. You should be happy because he is proving you right. Every day that goes by where he doesn’t call, he proves that all of your basic instincts about him were right. So why does it feel so bad? Normally being right is a great feeling, there is a confidence attached to it. Not in this case though. In this case you pray to God every day that you are wrong. Being right is a nightmare coming true,
Because the hope that you have when you look at your phone can be easily translated into wishing he would prove you wrong. There is no logic or rationality. You sit there staring at your phone thinking, prove me wrong.
Finally, you realize that you are right. You were right about everything. No more sales pitches, no more I’m sorry’s, no more love. No more hope. I’m done wishing I was wrong about him. I was right, and it’s the truth that I have to live with. Nothing has changed and nothing will ever change and for the first time, I think that I’m going to be okay with that. Life is full of disappointment and hearts get broken and phones don’t ring and you slowly find out everything you were taught as a little girl was a lie. There is no big love between men and women. Men don’t move mountains for the women they love, people don’t change, and we are all unwilling to compromise the things we love the most. I love William, and you love women and alcohol and staying up until 5 am. You weren’t willing to be second on my list, and I’m not willing to be second on your list. So there, now we are even.
I always wonder how many people told you that I wasn’t worth it and you nodded in agreement. How someone told you William wasn’t worth it and you nodded in agreement.